1. “Death, taxes and childbirth! There’s never any convenient time for any of them.”― Margaret Mitchell

    Margaret Mitchell

    Margaret Mitchell

  2. “…but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”― Benjamin Franklin
  3. “I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.”― Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
  4. “Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.” ― Herman Wouk
  5. “I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.” – Mark Twain
  6. “I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I’m employed.” – N. J. Carmody
  7. “The best things in life are tax free.” – Joseph Bonkowski
  8. “I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged.” – Roger Jones
  9. “Dear IRS, I am writing to you to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.” – Snoopy
  10. “Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.” – Adam Carolla

    ADAM CAROLLA

    Adam Carolla


  11. ”Nothing in life is certain except death, taxes and the second law of thermodynamics.” – Seth Lloyd
  12. “You can’t have a rigid view that all new taxes are evil.” – Bill Gates
  13. “The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes.” – William Feather
  14. “The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.” – Joe E. Lewis
  15. “Taxes grow without rain.” – Jewish Proverb
  16. “Even Albert Einstein reportedly needed help on his 1040 form.” – Ronald Reagan
  17. “For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.” — anonymous
  18. “Every advantage has its tax.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  19. ‘Did you ever notice that when you put the words “The” and “IRS” together, it spells “THEIRS?”’ – Author Unknown
  20. “It was as true… as taxes is. And nothing’s truer than them.” – Charles Dickens
  21. ”I always felt thrilled and amazed that I could put actor on my tax form.” – Geoffrey Rush
  22. “I was never charged with tax evasion. I’ve never been a tax protester.” – Wesley Snipes

    Wesley Snipes

    Wesley Snipes

  23. “Tax time is the perfect opportunity to jumpstart your spring-cleaning by tackling your financial to-do list.” – Alexa Von Tobel
  24. “There’s just one thing I can’t figure out. My income tax!” – Nat King Cole
  25. “An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.” – Fred Allen
  26. “I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” –Douglas Adams
  27. “The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
  28. “I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” – Milton Berle
  29. “Solar power is the last energy resource that isn’t owned yet–nobody taxes the sun yet.” – Bonnie Raitt
  30. “Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.” – Alfred E. Neuman
  31. “In levying taxes and in shearing sheep it is well to stop when you get down to the skin.” – Austin O’Malley
  32. “Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.” – Charles Kettering
  33. “I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. Ican’t afford the taxes.” – Mick Jagger
  34. “On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.” – Tom Lehrer 
  35. “I put all my money into taxes.  They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!” – Anonymous
  36. “America is a land of untold wealth. Most of it is untold on the tax forms!” – Milton Berle

    Milton Berle

    Milton Berle


  37. “You must pay taxes. But there’s no law that says you gotta leave a tip.”–Morgan Stanley advertisement
  38. “Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
  39. “The United States has a system of taxation by confession.” – Hugo Black
  40. “A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait for tax time.” – Anonymous
  41. “The payment of taxes gives a right to protection.” – James M. Wayne
  42. “No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction.” – American Proverb
  43. “Taxation is the price which civilized communities pay for the opportunity of remaining civilized.” – Albert Bushnell Hart
  44. “Of all our natural resources, the first one to be exhausted may be the taxpayer.” – Anonymous
  45. “Nothing hurts more than having to pay an income tax, unless it is not having to pay an income tax.” – Thomas Robert Dewar
  46. “Taxes and golf are alike, you drive your heart out for the green, and then end up in the hole.” – Anonymous
  47. “The promise of yesterday are the taxes of today.” – Mackenzie King
  48. “The thing generally raised on city land is taxes.” – Charles Dudley Warner
  49. “When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. — they’ll find something.” – Doug Horton
  50. “Today’s dime is really a dollar with all the taxes deducted.” – Anonymous
  51. “The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall.” – Denis Healey
  52. “Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.” – Oscar Wilde

    Oscar Wilde

    Oscar Wilde


  53. “There’s always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little – and it’s always somebody else.” – Cullen Hightower
  54. “People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.” – Anonymous
  55. “If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.” – Jeff Foxworthy
  56. “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” – Arthur C. Clarke
  57. “Income tax time is when you test your powers of deduction.” – Shelby Friedman
  58. “It is getting harder and harder to support the government in the style to which it has become accustomed.” – Anonymous
  59. “The rope by which the great blocks of taxes are attached to any citizenry is simple loyalty.” – Stephen King
  60. “The tax code has just grown so complex and so ugly, like an unkempt hedge or lawn that never gets mowed.” – Alan Blinder
  61. “There is no simple tax, at least no simple tax that is also fair.” – Joel Slemrod
  62. “An old tax is a good tax.” – Old Folk Saying
  63. “The most pernicious of all taxes are the arbitrary.” – David Hume
  64. “Don’t get excited about a tax cut. It’s like a mugger giving you back car fare.” – Arnold H. Glasow
  65. “Taxes are an investment in America.” – Bill Gates

    Bill Gates

    Bill Gates


  66. “Taxes are the chief business of a conqueror of the world.” – George Bernard Shaw
  67. “All taxes are disliked, and the more directly they are imposed, the more hateful they become.” – William Waterson
  68. “What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.” – Thomas Paine
  69. “I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers: Go ahead, make my day.” – Ronald Reagan
  70. “All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.” – Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
  71. “It is a general idea, that when taxes are once laid on, they are never taken off.” – Thomas Paine
  72. “The current tax code is a daily mugging.” – Ronald Reagan
  73. “There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some.” – Martin A. Sullivan
  74. “Tax complexity itself is a kind of tax.” – Max Baucus
  75. “Philosophy teaches a man that he can’t take it with him; taxes teach him he can’t leave it behind either.” – Mignon McLaughlin

    Mignon McLaughlin

    Mignon McLaughlin


  76. “The power of taxing people and their property is essential to the very existence of government.” — James Madison
  77. “To tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men.” —  Edmund Burke
  78. “I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.” — Arthur Godfrey
  79. “Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.” — F. J. Raymond
  80. “A tax loophole is ‘something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.’”
    — Russell B. Long
  81. “Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.” — Gerald Barzan
  82. “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.” – Ronald Reagan
  83. “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.” – Mark Twain
  84. “Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.” – Jonathan Swift
  85. “Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” – Judith Viorst

    Judith Viorst

    Judith Viorst


  86. “Bats have no bankers and they do not drink and cannot be arrested and pay no tax and, in general, bats have it made.” – John Berryman
  87. “America’s got quite reasonable tax rates from an employee point of view.” – Jim Ratcliffe
  88. “Everybody should pay some tax, just as everybody should vote.” – Amity Shlaes
  89. “If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader.” – Thomas S. Foley
  90. “The Eva Longoria who worked at Wendy’s flipping burgers – she needed a tax break. But the Eva Longoria who works on movie sets does not.” – Eva Longoria

    Eva Longoria

    Eva Longoria


  91. “Unmarried couples should get married – that’s an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.” – John Whiting
  92. “Tax reform means, ‘Don’t tax you, don’t tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.” – Russell B. Long
  93. “What’s the difference between a tax auditor and a rottweiler? A rottweiler eventually lets ” — anonymous
  94. “If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”— Farmer’s Almanac
  95. “A person doesn’t know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.” – Anonymous
  96. “Of life’s two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.” – Anonymous
  97. “Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.” – Evan Esar

    Evan Esar

    Evan Esar


  98. “Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.” – Lord Bramwell
  99. “Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” – Jimmy Kimmel
  100. “This is the season of the year when we discover that we owe most of our success to Uncle Sam.” – The Wall Street Journal
  101. “Isn’t it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool’s Day and ends with cries of May Day!” – Robert Knauerhase